Sunday, July 24, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday #20! Woot!

Wow! I can't believe I've been hangin' with y'all on Sunday mornings for four straight months now! That's awesome! Okay, I have six more for ya from my December-ish dark paranormal, In the Service of the King. How's this for a first impression?
          Kael pierced his tongue with his fangs to keep from making an utterance he had no business making, but for the love of all that was holy, the creature before him was magnificent.  Perfectly posed despite the thundering sprint of her heart, her long black-brown hair was braided and intertwined in the traditional way, ribbons and flowers threaded throughout.  The sheerest of white silk robes did little to hide from his vision the sexy muscularity of her body.  She was not thin, which pleased him.  He had once turned away a Proffered for being too thin—he was 250 pounds and nearly feral once blooded, so he preferred women like the one kneeling in his chamber, strong and athletic.  She was young, to be sure, but also womanly, with curves where women should have curves, with rounded flesh that would fill his exploring hands and strong grip.
I love this stock image I found - great representation of Shayla, the heroine in this story.

Okay, hope you enjoy - would love your thoughts in a comment! - and don't forget to check out the Other Sixers' posts and follow the #sixsunday hashtag on twitter!

Hey, and a quick head's up! 
Don't miss my TREASURE HUNT on Friday the 29th - 
$100+ in prizes!

Thanks for reading!
Laura

37 comments:

Carrie Ann Ryan said...

Oh what a detailed description! I felt as though I was standing right in front of her.

But feral? I think I want to know more about him too! LOL

http://carrieannryan.blogspot.com/

romancingalix said...

Great detail in your six, you painted a beautiful and real picture of her. Well done, and Thank you for sharing.

Sarah Grimm said...

I can't wait for this one! You reeled me right in and now I have to know more. Well done, Laura!

Looking forward to your Treasure Hunt!

Jessica Subject said...

That is a fabulous description! And yes, the picture suits her perfectly. :) Well done!

Sam Crescent said...

Excellent Six. Love the description :-)

Liz said...

A wonderfully descriptive, vivid six

Sharon Buchbinder said...

Lovely excerpt!

Sandra Sookoo said...

completely captivating snippet!

JoAnne Kenrick said...

loved the descriptions... I totally agree with Sandra, a really captivating snippet xx

Jayel Kaye said...

Great description. Wow Wonderful 6

Lisa Fox said...

I love the way he sees her.

Debra Moore said...

What Sookie said! Exactly! I was "in".

Gem Sivad said...

Absolutely loved this six. He had to bite his tongue with a fang, lol.

Adriana said...

Agree, great detail - very sexy description of her, and we've learned a lot about him, too. He has to bite his tongue to rein in his impulses, and he likes his women curvy and muscular. You hooked me right in!

Sherry Gloag said...

You cram in so much in six sentences. Great six.

Jenna McCormick said...

You've got some great world building going on Laura! And that image is gorgeous!

Bree said...

Great description and insight into this character. More, please!

lizculver said...

Amazing description - I felt like I was there!

Kathleen Grieve said...

I am loving this story! I'm totally HOOKED!

naelany said...

Dayumn, woman! Sounds like another great one, to me ;-)

Zee Monodee said...

I love your description! Very well done

wearegoingonawitchhunt said...

Sounds like he's going to have a good time!

Lindsay said...

Love the description of the woman and the picture fits perfectly

1000th.monkey said...

Very detailed! I can clearly see her, but the description didn't feel heavy/overdone.

Lex Valentine said...

Awesome description!

Dee Carney said...

Oh wow, what a fantastic description!

laynap said...

Your description here leaves us wanting more. You must post more from this wip. :)

Sandy Ruth said...

Lovely description of both what he saw and what he wanted. Good writing.

Sonya Clark said...

Terrific description and I especially love how he has to bite his tongue with his fangs to keep quiet! Great six!

Jeanette said...

Wow, Laura, nice descriptions. Not a very nice tease, though! Very eager to see the full story.

Jessica K said...

Wonderful description, and I love that he loves curves! And strength!

Devin said...

Good description, and it gives us hints of his character as well.

vernac said...

It's amazing how much you said in six sentences! Descriptions are incredible.

Sarah Allan said...

Awesome, Laura! Thank you for not creating a stick heroine. She sounds beautiful, and looks like she can hold her own. *wink wink*

Pippa Jay said...

A fabulously descriptive six. :)

Lucy Felthouse said...

Wow, I love this! I can't wait to read more :)

Jennifer Wilck said...

Love your description of the heroine. Great six!